cup of sawdust

RELEASED AT 16/04/22

A BLESSING & A CURSE

Commodites are the abilities that are bestowed upon any individual, living or not, whom most often make an offering to Movoriss. The offering must be from neutral to good for the martian so that the individual can gain a commodity. Idividuals with commodities are named "Myrmidons". With Movoriss being killed by G'sha we have lost our only known way to gain commodities. Then how is there still more being created to the point of its comercialization? I have 3 theories:

  1. Movoriss is still around and is a prisoner of the Sigment Foundation

    Great title, me. That'll really give the reader a concussion. As much of a bunch of word vomit that might be, Movoriss is the only way we know how to get a commodity. First I'll be talking about how that even works. We know that the Sigment Foundation has a machine that can extract commodites from myrmidons. I shall be ilustrating the trade between the buyer and the seller, with Movoriss, a vessel, and the machine as intermediaries necessary for the trade to succeed.

    • The seller gets paid the appropriate sum of money for a chosen commodity.
    • The seller looks for the right offer to obtain that commodity, perhaps through an archive of all offers known and its results.
    • A vessel is placed inside of Moroviss' containment room to gain the commodity. The vessel can be human or inanimate.
    • If the vessel is inanimate, it can be given to the buyer by itself.
    • If the vessel is human, the commodity must be extracted from the vessel.
    • From here the commodity can be transfered directly to the buyer or to an item of their picking.
    Vessel Pros Cons
    Living Less likely to be lost since it's tied to the self People are fragile and easily fooled :-/
    Inanimate Commodity can be shared among multiple individuals Uhh it's a thing lol. (bfdi snatch sound effect)

    Now that we've established what system could be used, it's time to answer the real question: "Why would Moroviss be in some sort of containment room? Actually, how is Moroviss still LIVING?". Eh, good questions. I'll give more attention to the latter question. In Stardust Crusaders: The Slaughter of His World (comic 261) it is shown that Moroviss cannot be killed by G'sha because his survival is the offer that lets him weild Ferroza energy. When G'sha "finished him off" he would've broke the offering, it is forbidden for him to do that. G'sha could've instead teleported Moroviss somewhere else, maybe on Earth to see him destroyed along side the humans. But the world didn't die and Canada was rebuilt, you know the gist. Moroviss must've build a reputation for.. y'know, actively helping the guy who wants to destroy the world.Maybe this is how Stephanie ended up as a close ally of the Sigment Foundation, because she's a direct eye witness of the two's alliance and general atrocities that Moroviss could've made. Moroviss' ability is not voluntary so anyone can make any offering. They must've locked him up and used him for the "better of society". This system makes complete sense!

    JUST KIDDING! THIS SYSTEM SUCKS! And it's not even possible. There is one fatal flaw in this theory: Moroviss is dead. Drew killed him back in Water Hole (comic 71). As he already said,"Nothing can kill what's already dead". This same fact was mentioned before he was gone. G'sha simply disintegrated the corpse of a dead man. There were plenty of other smaller flaws. Why would Stephanie stick around after the dissapearance of the co-founder? Wouldn't there be a possibility for Moroviss to be offered freedom or and item that can grant it if used? Answered or not, this theory is just as dead as the man himself. But who knows, that fact that he was able to reanimate himself shows that Piss Hole is not afraid of thinking about loopholes.

  2. The Sigment Foundation got their hands on commodity synthesys technology

    Something a bit more realistlic. There are a few characters that have great power without the help of Moroviss: the four elementals, Rudy, Violet and Drew are seven that come to mind. Some may argue that Muscle Guy's knife is why Violet is so skilled, but I think she has more than just a knife to give back to the team. Maybe an undying spirit? The undying spirit to honor undying spirits? Who knows, this is getting off track. There are plenty of other things that prove some sort of magical power present on the Earth. The Peenie Genie, the SUPER ASS; the Heart of Courage as well, athough it originates from the moon. I've also forgot to mention Nefartius. He sold his immortality gland, something that he presumably has due to earthly circumstances. And, like, the general idea that vampires exist is kinda cool, but also proves this point. There is power boardering towards commodity-esque throughout this land and it's about time that they harness it. Now how they would do that is so various that I'm not even gonna try. "Magic" can be seen in many ways and it's vague what actually categorizes it.

    This is a very short and simple. And there are so little assumptions that the possibility for this is high.

  3. The Sigment Foundation contacted Thyme

    oghhgoohohohoo this is the wildest one
    Okay so first, WHAT THE HECK IS THYME DOING HERE? It's some weird time guardian. Giving random things powers is NOT in it's job requirement. Well I have NO IDEA what the man with one hundred arms has seen but APPARENTLY all of the commodities come from Thyme itself. I would ask Ashley quite a lot of questions about this and Thyme in general but I don't want to annoy them, and hey maybe some things are surpassing into spoiler territory. I'll leave it as that and blindly accept that for this theory.

    now, HOW DOES THE SIGMENT FOUNDATION EVEN GET THE THING'S ATTENTION? Last time I checked Thyme shows itself only when THE FLOW OF TIME IS TAMPERED WITH. IF THE SIGMENT FOUNDATION HAD SOME SORT OF TIME MACHINE I'M QUITE SURE THEY WOULD DO MORE THAN JUST USE IT TO SPEAK TO THYME. Haha.. well that is a bit more complicated. And it gets even harder to explain how they got Thyme on THEIR side after disturbing it. Who knows, maybe Thyme can be easily charmed with a soul sacrafice or two. This theory is the most outlandish out of the three. It sure is a possibility! Just not a very likely one.

Commodity sythesys is the most grounded theory, but I hope the other two gave you some amount of entretainment. Spitballing ideas and asking questions is very fun and I might make more of these. Ashley if you're reading erm.. Hi!!! ^^ From your perspective this might look really messed up but trust me it makes sense in my mind.
Of course these three aren't the ONLY theories. There might be someone or something who developed the same enlightenment Moroviss had. I find this very, VERY unlikely but I could always be surprised with whatever goes on in Ashley's head.
Uhhhh. What do you think? You could always speak to me about this over at the Piss Hole Discord linked in the main page of the fanpage.